The last few weeks have given me plenty of time to reflect on many aspects of my life, both personal and business, and how they intersect with and are dependent upon one another. Contemplation led me to make some big changes in my life; ones that I believe will better support and reflect the life I wish to lead and the person I wish to be going forward.

The biggest change is that I started school this week – and in my jammies! I am taking an accelerated program to earn a certificate as a Nutrition Health Coach through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. This is a program I have admired for many years, and when I decided to take the plunge into formal nutrition study again, I knew for certain that this was the course.

Digestion and nutrition have been lifelong interests and studies of mine. Although I am very well informed on the subjects, I have been very careful in my reflexology/massage practice not to overstep the scope of my license by offering nutritional advice or suggestions to my clients. And that has been difficult for me when I know I could offer doable solutions. Ninety percent of my clientele present with health issues stemming from their digestive and lifestyle habits; soon I will be able to offer a service that will go a long way in helping people reach their wellness goals. Combined with reflexology – wow!

The second big change is that I moved out of my clinical space and closed the practice for the time being. I don’t think it’s safe yet to return to offering reflexology and am not, in fact, even interested in doing so when the guidelines require me to suit up in what resembles a Hazmat suit to do so! I am hopeful that come the fall I will be able to resume offering reflexology.

With no income since mid-March and not likely any until the fall sometimes, I asked myself what I was willing to give up to have the life I say I want. That, surprisingly, turned out to be rather easy. In addition to solidifying some additional daily practices, I painlessly trimmed some things off my budget:

* I canceled my cable service when I recognized how much of a distraction it is to my reaching my goals. I decided to live my life as opposed to watching actors portray other people living theirs. Haven’t missed it all.

One of the many things this added time gave me was the ability to contribute to a book that will be published by Amazon beginning this weekend. It’s called 40 Days in the Hole: Self-Care in the Time of Corona Pandemic and was written by Kevan Breitinger. Check it out! She is a wizard with words! And the book lists for only $10!

* I decided not to renew two magazine subscriptions, again a distraction from reading more in-depth writings and books.

* I canceled my lawn service after a friend’s son gave me a mower. A move away from being ‘She Who Writes Cheques’!

* Also started sprouting again and started my first veggie garden (Being a brown thumb, I did it the easiest way I could find, with a Grow-Box) – two ways in which I can be more sustainable and connected to the food I eat.

All in all, I have found this time while “exiled for the good of the realm” to be such a game-changer for me. Although I miss touching and being touched very much, I am comforted by the knowledge that this time of seclusion will pass. In the meantime, I am taking advantage of every moment to fashion a life and business that will really work for me at this point in my life. I’m so excited!

For nearly three decades, Tom Morris, one of the world’s top public philosophers and pioneering business thinkers, has been on a mission to bring philosophy back to the center of daily life.

Traveling the globe, working with world-class business executives, athletes, coaches, administrators, and entrepreneurs, Tom realized that, regardless of the field or industry, everyone wanted the same thing: advice about excellence.

So began his search to find the universal conditions for success and the skills or arts involved to achieve it. “My claim,” Tom said in an interview with the DailyStoic, “is that for success in any challenge, the great practical philosophers have taught me that we need what I call the 7 Cs of Success”.

The 7 Cs of Success

1. 1. A clear CONCEPTION of what we want, a vivid vision, a goal clearly imagined.

1. 2. A strong CONFIDENCE that we can attain that goal.

1. 3. A focused CONCENTRATION on what it takes to reach our goal.

1. 4. A stubborn CONSISTENCY in pursuing our vision.

1. 5. An emotional COMMITMENT to the importance of what we’re doing.

1. 6. A good CHARACTER to guide us and keep us on a proper course.

1. 7. A CAPACITY TO ENJOY the process along the way.

“You can find all seven of these ideas in the writings of Seneca or Marcus Aurelius,” Tom added. “The great thinkers understood greatness.”

All of Tom’s 7 Cs of Success fall under what the Stoics called the dichotomy of control. Basically, we can control some things and can’t control others—and we should focus on what we can control. The Stoics knew that in the chaos of life, as in sports, fixating on things we can’t control is not a recipe for success, but for great agony and despair.

The road to success—winning championship titles in sports, becoming a bestselling writer, or a successful entrepreneur— is just that: a road. And just like you travel along a road in steps, excellence is a matter of steps. Excelling at this one, then the next, and then the one after that.

Today, spend some time with Tom’s 7 Cs of Success. Where are you along the road? What can you do to make the next step? Focus on that—the things you do control.

(shared with permission from the Daily Stoic, because I think the above also applies to a bodywork practice.)

Boundaries are a very sensitive subject in bodywork, more so in the area of massage than reflexology, but still one worth the attention of all reflexologists.

Where else does one remove all or some of her clothing minutes after meeting someone and allow that person to touch their body in an intimate, familiar way in a dimly lit closed room for an extended period of time, with no one else present, and likely being encouraged to close their eyes?

That scenario requires a lot of trust; trust that must be earned, not assumed, by a practitioner.

I taught professional boundaries and ethics to the massage community for over 20 years. It’s a topic dear to my heart and one I wish bodywork schools took more seriously. Even if you think you have a good understanding of professional boundaries, one thing I would ask you to remember is that many of the people who come into your space have had their boundaries violated – and sometimes by well-meaning, but ignorant people. The responsibility to re-frame someone’s experience of receiving reflexology as a safe event, therefore, will fall on you.

So, what are boundaries?

Boundaries separate me from my environment; from the surroundings that include people, not just inanimate objects.

Boundaries are both innate and learned (what we grew up within our families and in our culture) and dependent on context and location (work, public or personal environments, country or region).

There are 5 types of boundaries.

1. Physical

In this culture, an arm’s length (two to three feet) in front and back is comfortable for most people; one foot on the sides. In other cultures that distance can vary.

In somatic practices, contact is expected and appropriate during the session. It’s questionable before and after, depending a lot on culture. In Latin-speaking countries, for example, hugging is more prevalent than in the Anglo-Saxon based cultures, where a hug might feel forward.

Do you automatically reach out to hug your clients when they arrive or are about to leave? Have you asked if they would like a hug that day?

How do you feel when clients grab you for a hug without checking in first?

2. Emotional

Emotional boundaries are essential for all healthy relationships, both personal and professional. And this is an area where boundaries can be radically different depending on context (friends vs. the first-time client vs. retail store clerk) and culture (African-American vs. Caucasian, for example).

Are you aware of how different cultures feel about sharing emotions and/or personal information with strangers?

It is important that clients not feel that they are expected to share emotions or personal aspects of their lives that don’t directly relate to their reason for seeing you.

3. Sexual

Sexual boundaries are actually a subset of physical and emotional boundaries.

Everyone has the right to determine with whom, when, where and how s/he expresses herself sexually. The healthcare relationship is one in which sexual safety must be paramount.  Somatic practitioners should not have sexual relationships with clients, period.

4. Intellectual

A person’s thoughts, opinions and beliefs form her identity. To ridicule, criticize, ignore and/or dismiss another’s opinion is a boundary violation.

Many seasoned practitioners have put discussion of potentially heated topics such as politics or religion off-limits in the clinic room; if for no other reason than discussions such as those put someone in their head rather than in their body where relaxation is initiated.

5. Energetic

The human body conducts electrical currents through an electromagnetic field. As practitioners, we must prevent being influenced by a client’s energy at the same time that we protect the client’s energetic boundary.

Some therapists are somatically intuitive and can ‘read’ other people’s energy.  It is a boundary violation to share unasked for perceptions. Always remember that the person has come to you for a reflexology session, not an intuitive energy reading.

I’ll close with a few ways you can strengthen your professional boundaries:

1. Increase your awareness of your client’s experience. Pay attention to what your client is asking for and not asking for, both verbally and non-verbally.

Does your client:
* pull back when you try to hug them?
* avoid answering certain questions you ask?
* tense up when you touch a certain place or move their body in a certain way?

2. Manage the energy field. Before and after each session consciously direct your energy to build a protective bubble around both you and your client. Release it all when you are done, either through a physical practice or by spraying the room with an essential oil blend.

3. Learn to identify clients’ behaviors that indicate a crossed boundary. Example: muscle tension/eyes open/stubborn behavior or a change in customary behavior.

4. Ask questions that identify when you suspect a boundary has been violated:

“I’ve been asking you some personal questions in the last few minutes. Have any made you uncomfortable?” Or, “Let me apologize if any made you feel uncomfortable.”

Show respect for client boundaries. Admit and apologize when you overstep. This will go far in building trust.

5. Teach clients how to establish their own boundaries and to articulate their experience. Fully explain that you have no way of knowing what the session will feel like to them, and since you want to give them the best experience possible, you need them to partner with you by informing you of what is working and what is not.

Regarding getting feedback during the session, ask, “How do you respond to pain? Do you grin and bear it, or do you say something?”

If a client says she doesn’t want to break ‘the spell’ by speaking up when receiving, establish non-verbal cues that can be used to inform you when you’re on a point that wants attention or if pressure is too much.

Do you have a particular behavior that you practice that delivers strong professional boundaries? Please share, so we can all learn.

I think one of the best ways to build a practice is to really take care of the clients you already have. By that, I mean going beyond just providing excellent hands-on service.

Here are three easy ways to do just that:

One

Whenever a client talks about a friend or family member dealing with (fill in the blank) you can pretty well safely assume that s/he is looking for some help for that person. So, give it to them!

* Either inquire a little about the condition/situation and share your insight, or offer a piece of self-care advice for your client to pass on to the friend.

* Explain how you can help this person and then ask your client if s/he would like to give the friend your business card. (Give ‘em two, just in case.)

Two

Give first-time clients ‘goodie bags’. It can be an actual bag or it can be as simple as an envelope, file folder or presentation folder. Inside include a few business cards and brochures of reflexology and/or your business. Add in any of the following:

* discount coupon for a friend

* small foot chart

* toe separators or a small container of the foot scrub you used in your session

* reflexology bookmark

* hard copy of one of your key past online newsletters

* supportive/non-supportive steps for good health

* resources specific to client’s situation.

Ensure that your business name and contact information is on as many items as possible.

Three

Send a hand-written card of appreciation to clients that refer someone to you. Send it by snail-mail! It’s such a treat to receive something of value in the mail these days and so much more personal than a text or email. In order to protect confidentiality, do not name the new client.

Keep a record of clients who refer to you and how many people they have sent your way. When they reach a certain threshold (five? ten referrals?) comp their next session. I call this a WOW! experience. When they go to pay and you tell them the session is on you, they usually say Wow! And they likely will talk it up with others afterward.

These are easy ways to let your clients know you value them. Try it. It’s as simple as one, two, three.