Part of my intent in the Say Goodbye to Headaches class is to give therapists the tools and forms that they can use to help people identify the source of their headaches and secondly help them strategize ways to eliminate or reduce the incidence and severity of their headaches. (In addition to hands-on reflexology procedures, of course.)
In last weekend’s class, we were doing an activity around stressors; identifying our habitual responses to them and how we actually would like to respond – all in the hope of reducing stress levels that cause the most common form of headache – tension.
The common element I heard from participants was the belief that they must change someone else’s behavior or some outward situation in order to eliminate the pain and discomfort they were experiencing. Believe me, this group was not unique. I hear this all the time. It seems to be a natural human belief that, in order to eliminate my own discomfort, I must change the world around me.
And that, my dear friends, will never work. We will never get the world and all its inhabitants to do exactly what we want.
The only person we can change is ourselves.
The only thing we do have control over is our response to an event or person.
So, if we want to remove stressors from our lives, and the subsequent health issues that result from living under constant stress (like headaches, depression, insomnia, digestive issues), then we must learn how to respond differently to that which we do not like.
Here is the strategy that we worked with and what resulted in some positive options:
* Identify what is stressing you; what upsets you.
* Describe what it is you would like to see happen.
* Determine what you could do to move yourself closer to what you want.
* Decide if you are willing to take action.
The beauty of this strategy is that it puts you in a place of power. You are no longer a victim to outside circumstances and people. It also reinforces the fact that you must take responsibility for your own state of being. And that’s all good.
This approach does not ask that you change yourself forever. It simply suggests a different approach to try – as an experiment – for a limited amount of time. That is do-able.
Try it next time you find yourself complaining about a situation or person that has you irritated – or angry – or frustrated – or sad – or……
You have nothing to lose but your pain.