Crisis and Choice

You never know what you will find when you start cleaning out old files! I came across an editorial I wrote in 1997 for the then print-version of the Florida School of Massage’s Connective Issue magazine. I share it now along with a couple of questions for you to contemplate! I am happy to say that this still sums up my beliefs.

“I love the synchronicity of life. I love how, when I’m paying attention, I become so aware of the bountiful support life constantly offers me.

Last week, I came across a greeting card with a quotation credited to Anaïs Nin, the French novelist. The card read: We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are. Ah…I liked that! Nin’s belief seemed to echo one of mine: Events are neither good nor bad, right or wrong; they just are. We interpret them to mean something based on our beliefs, on who we are.

Little did I know that the message in that greeting card would soon serve to guide me through a challenging time.

Two days ago, I found myself enmeshed in a complicated situation that involved a number of people for whom I care a lot. Many people felt incredibly angry towards certain individuals. Certain people asked for my forgiveness, while other expressed disappointment and surprise regarding my part in the play. Others’ fears were so strong that they felt directed to advise me to seek legal counsel. One thing was certain – there were obviously many ways to see the situation!

As I witnessed all this around me, as well as my own fluctuating emotions, I decided that I wanted to consciously choose my response, rather than react. And that involved a “heart-to-heart” with myself.

Anger? Found no anger, or hate, or resentment towards anyone involved in the drama we had created. Mostly, I felt compassion and curiosity.

Forgiveness? I held no judgment whatsoever towards any of the individuals involved in this story, including myself. Therefore, there was nothing or no one to forgive. Acceptance seemed a better word to describe my position.

And so I was left with the suggestion of fear. I noticed that if I allowed thoughts of worse case scenarios to occupy my head, I was easily overcome with disastrous thoughts. Since I really had no idea of the ultimate resolution of this situation I asked myself, what did I want to see happen? And why would I choose to entertain any image in my head other than what I desired?

I decided therefore to hold a particular vision for myself and the others involved – a positive one.

Immediately, a realization came to me: CRISIS DOESN’T CHANGE WHO I AM – IT SIMPLY SHOWS ME WHO I AM. Yes! If I am a loving, trusting human being, then that is how I will see/relate to myself, the events and people in my life – no matter what the circumstances. The choice is always mine, and all mine.

As I looked back on the tumultuous days just past, I had to smile. I learned a lot – about loyalty and lies and love; how ethical situations demand scrupulous introspection and a thorough examination of the “big-picture” consequences.

Even as I stumble towards perfection, I like who I am. I like who I am becoming. More and more, self-acceptance comes naturally and easily, and within that loving acceptance comes painless change and growth. I am so grateful for the many opportunities I am given from which I can create and express my emerging self.”

What about you? What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you greet each day looking only for what you want to see, or wake up expecting to see what you don’t want in your life?