Academy of Ancient Reflexology

Reflexology Certification Programs and Workshops

The Need For Touch

I am someone who gets paid to touch others. And now, I don’t.

Although I love what I do for a living and acknowledge the gift my therapeutic touch is to others, I don’t think I fully recognized how important that touch was to me. Until now.

I’ve been sequestered at home for three weeks and for the most part, have been fine with it. By nature, I am an introvert and can easily entertain myself. However, I have always been able to connect with friends when I please. Not now.

I have a beautiful home with a screened-in porch that I spend lots of time in these days. I walk or bike my neighborhood most mornings. I cook a lot. Sleep long hours. Read. Meditate every morning. Tackle items on my long-overdue To-Do list. Listen to inspiring and educational podcasts. Engage a lot in virtual happy hours, virtual coffee klatsches, Facetime and individual chats on the phone, so I’m not really social distancing; I’m physically distancing.

What I am missing though is touch.

I live alone. I realized about a week ago that I was missing touching others and being touched by others. And, as I explored that more, I realized that what I was really missing was the energy of others. After all, I don’t always touch my friends when we get together. But, we sit near one another, and smile and talk and laugh and sometimes cry together. Our energy bodies are touching. I see now that what I am really missing is that connection. Our energy.

I’m not feeling sorry for myself nor am I depressed. I am just recognizing something that is true for me, right now. I know I can and will be/am fine because I know there is an end to it. The more I – we – adhere to staying home, leaving only when absolutely necessary, the sooner this will all be over. I look forward to seeing and touching my clients again, and to greeting my close friends with a big smile and long hug while we wait for seats at a bustling, loud and crowded restaurant!

And In The Beginning Was the Word

Another year has ended, and as is the custom for so many, today is the first day to put into action all those well-intentioned, laboriously thought-out New Year’s resolutions.

I am going to confess here that I have never written even one New Year’s resolution for myself. I’ve never started going to a gym or yoga class in the first week of a new year either. If I’m honest, I have to admit that it is probably because I did not trust myself to actually repeat said action for the next 365 consecutive days. It seemed daunting to me, and not wanting to feel like a failure, I just never engaged in this public practice. Instead, I watched everyone around me confidently voice their resolutions for the year and then slowly (or sometimes quickly) abandon them without another peep.

But, this year a friend shared an idea that resonated with me; one that I could get on board with and just felt right.

The idea is to pick a word – just one word – as yours for the year ahead.

As I listened to and read about, others’ words that inspired them, I realized that they were, for the most part, all nouns. That didn’t work for me. Nouns are words that identify something, and I have no problem naming things I want to do or accomplish or change. The challenge is actually doing.  So, I decided to choose a verb, an action word.

So, in the beginning – of my new year – is my word: COMMIT. Commit is a word that encompasses resolve, strength, dedication, responsibility, and accomplishment, and implies drive, initiative, and action.

This year I COMMIT to being as accountable to myself as I am to others. My word will guide me in the direction I want to take and the choices that will get me there.

Want to join me? What’s your word for 2020?

Diving Into The Mystery

In today’s blog, I’d like to share a quote from Reflexognosy, a book written by Christine Issel and Sandra Rogers, two visionaries and pioneers in the field of reflexology. The book is geared towards qualified reflexologists and demands that reflexologists think beyond what they were taught in their initial exposure to the art. It’s an eye-opening, mind-expanding book.

The following quotation speaks to both reflexologists and massage therapists. I offer it here to open a dialogue. What do you think about the authors’ statements? Please share your respectfully-written comments below.

“To be wholistic practitioners, we need to be concerned with knowing, not so much about the disease, but knowing more about the person whose body is battling the disease process.

 Society has conditioned us to think that those healing strategies that employ ‘doing’ seem reasonable. They make sense and can be explained by science. ‘Doing’ approaches are usually invasive therapies and include such things as surgery, drugs, exercise and diet.

‘Being’ therapies, lacking reasonable explanations, appear to be irrational. The results of generally non-invasive approaches such as counseling, prayer and imagery, more often than not, happen without reason and could be classified as the placebo effect or miracles. But the body and ‘being’ therapies contain a mysterious element. Miracles do not always happen. But when healing does occur it is usually accompanied by a paradoxical realization that there is an importance to illness and that life without it may be not desirable.”

 ‘Reflexognosy’ by Christine Issel and Sandra Rogers 

Photo image by Alex Gray.

Eliminate Stress With One Simple Decision

Part of my intent in the Say Goodbye to Headaches class is to give therapists the tools and forms that they can use to help people identify the source of their headaches and secondly help them strategize ways to eliminate or reduce the incidence and severity of their headaches. (In addition to hands-on reflexology procedures, of course.)

In last weekend’s class, we were doing an activity around stressors; identifying our habitual responses to them and how we actually would like to respond – all in the hope of reducing stress levels that cause the most common form of headache – tension.

The common element I heard from participants was the belief that they must change someone else’s behavior or some outward situation in order to eliminate the pain and discomfort they were experiencing. Believe me, this group was not unique. I hear this all the time. It seems to be a natural human belief that, in order to eliminate my own discomfort, I must change the world around me.

And that, my dear friends, will never work. We will never get the world and all its inhabitants to do exactly what we want.

The only person we can change is ourselves.

The only thing we do have control over is our response to an event or person.

So, if we want to remove stressors from our lives, and the subsequent health issues that result from living under constant stress (like headaches, depression, insomnia, digestive issues), then we must learn how to respond differently to that which we do not like.

Here is the strategy that we worked with and what resulted in some positive options:

* Identify what is stressing you; what upsets you.

* Describe what it is you would like to see happen.

* Determine what you could do to move yourself closer to what you want.

* Decide if you are willing to take action.

The beauty of this strategy is that it puts you in a place of power. You are no longer a victim to outside circumstances and people. It also reinforces the fact that you must take responsibility for your own state of being. And that’s all good.

This approach does not ask that you change yourself forever. It simply suggests a different approach to try – as an experiment – for a limited amount of time. That is do-able.

Try it next time you find yourself complaining about a situation or person that has you irritated – or angry – or frustrated – or sad – or……

You have nothing to lose but your pain.

How Did We Get Here?

This is a very different post for me to share, but I hope you will allow me the space to unload some thoughts and feelings that have stubbornly taken up residency inside me these days.

* Annual suicide deaths in the USA now outnumber deaths from auto accidents.

* Twice the numbers of people die in the USA from suicide than from murder.

* Between 1999 and 2016 (latest figures), suicide rates in the USA have increased by at least 25%. In some areas of the country it has reached 30%.

* More females commit suicide than males. Between 1999 and 2016, the incidence of suicide committed by white females between the ages of 45 and 64 rose by a whopping 80%.

* Two thousand teens commit suicide annually in the USA.

Professionals who work in fields related to suicide agree that almost all suicides result from severe depression and/or mental illness. So, how is it, in a country that boasts a quality of life better than anywhere else in the world, that so many people are so out-of-balance that they feel the only way out of their emotional pain is to terminate their lives?

How did we get here?

More importantly, how do we move towards a culture of understanding and compassion that commits to providing care, support and direction to the thousands more just steps away from their self-induced demise?

How many more senseless deaths will it take before we recognize that, even if not evident by physical disability, depression and mental illness are real – very real. And like any other unattended illness, left to its own, guarantees a poor outcome.

This seems like a national crisis to me, more so than the influx of parents and children from other countries trying to carve out a safer existence for their families.

Retail therapy distracts us – for awhile – from the pain and emptiness that result from a lifestyle detached from self and others. Social media tricks us into believing that we are connected – when we’re not.

When I hear of another pointless suicide or murder I have to work hard not to resort to anger or despair. I struggle to understand the choices people make; I’ve never experienced those levels of hopelessness. How do we stop this madness?

My early life – a critical time in everyone’s development – was blessed by loving parents, grandparents and siblings, and a stable, safe home-life. There was no violence, substance abuse, absenteeism or poverty.

My early childhood taught me the importance of others in my life. Throughout my entire life, I have always surrounded myself with friends that made me laugh, stood by me when I cried, called me out when needed, and are just plain ‘there’ for me – and I, them.

Later, massage school taught me to connect with myself and how to create a safe environment in which to invite others to do so. Beyond helping people with chronic foot pain or headaches, I think the power in the work that I offer is the opportunity for someone to experience herself as safe and deeply relaxed. To get out of the ‘talking head’. To feel stress-free – if only for an hour.  To connect with self and maybe with another  (me) in a meaningful way.

I’m so grateful for the path I have been led to follow. It has given me opportunities, through my reflexology practice and teaching, to connect with others and to witness people ‘falling into themselves’. It’s those moments, in addition to my friends and family that remind me to give thanks. Self-care, connection, love, friendship – that’s how I got here.

Disrupt the Concept of Aging

When I turned 50 I didn’t see myself as over the hill. On the contrary, I felt like I was standing on the top of a mountain – my mountain. Years of life experience, schooling, relationships, ups and downs, and highs and lows had brought me to a place of heightened clarity, reflection and wisdom I hadn’t enjoyed before. Life felt easier. It was time to soar; to reap the benefits of having made it this far.

I know that when I was a teen and younger, 30 seemed ancient. But, somewhere in my own upward climb I abandoned that thinking. I never bought into the belief that aging was pathological, a downhill slide into the grave.

In a recent article, AARP wrote a strong statement addressing the topic of aging:

“People 50 and older are still living in ways that reflect the attitudes, activism and aspirations of the boomer generation – the desire to live life on our own terms, to make a difference, to change the world.”

And Wendie Trubow, MD, a wonderful functional medicine doctor who spoke at the recent conference of the Reflexology Association of America, shared a challenge that really stuck in my brain:

“Reject the conventional wisdom of discrepancy as you age.”

Just like Uber disrupted the taxi industry and Airbnb the hospitality industry, I challenge myself – and you – to disrupt the concept of aging!

Believe me, I don’t have my head in the sand when it comes to aging. I know that genetics and luck play into how we age, and I’m fully aware that my aging body needs more and more, and sometimes different, attention than it did in my younger years. But, I also know that the bigger part of how I feel is a consequence of my thoughts and beliefs, not a number. Add to that the incredible amount of information that is available these days regarding self-care and there’s no excuse for me not to live my best life now. All that stands in the way is negative self-talk.

As the AARP article continued: “The negative stories we tell ourselves and one another about aging lead to negative behaviors that, in turn, create a negative reality of aging. The view of aging as decline becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy.”

 “Instead we could look at aging as a process of continuous growth. Aging is just living. Some aspects of life get a little tougher as you go along, and some get a little easier, but it’s all part of being alive.”

 It seems that the magazine editors are on the same page as Jane Fonda, who gave a short TED talk regarding the ‘third act’ of her life that absolutely knocked me out.  She challenges us to re-imagine this new phase of our lives; to recognize that no matter the number, I am still me and you are still you – and maybe even more so now than ever.

I leave you with the above thoughts to ponder, and invite you to share your beliefs around aging.

And here’s the link to Jane Fonda’s inspiring talk.

Shifting The Focus To The Client

“Stop thinking about how you can make the product or organization better and start thinking about how you can make your customers more successful.”

 That’s great advice from Henry Ford, the man who built the automobile industry in the US.

When I apply that advice to my reflexology practice, I think the most important thing I can offer is my ears, not my hands. The most critical thing is to listen to my clients. I think that counts more than state-of-the-art lighting, the latest, continuously-revolving music, essential oil-scented silk eye pillows, organic foot scrubs – all the accouterments that provide a Wow! experience, but rarely address the prime complaint.

Can I – will I – just listen to what gets in people’s way of living the life they desire? What prevents them from being successful with their goals?

Am I willing to hear the frustration of not being able to get rid of chronic headaches; the depression, apprehension and health issues that ensue from years of sleep deprivation; the unpredictability, embarrassment, annoyance and pain of irritable bowel syndrome or Crohn’s disease; the inability to fully engage with family and friends when fighting chronic sinus infections. The list is endless.

Let’s start a dialogue here. Please share what you do to support your clients’ goals of improved health and happiness. We’ll assume you’re giving reflexology or massage sessions!

Stinkin’ Thinkin’

You know what I’m talking about. That negative self-talk that stops you from even considering what you really want out of life. The mental tapes that keep you prisoner in a life you hate; stop you from asking the really important questions, like:

            How do I manifest a prosperous, satisfying life for myself? 

            What can I do to help improve the quality of life of the people I care about? 

            What meaningful action is going to align with my core values and life purpose?

It took many years for me to get around to examining those questions.

You see, I was raised for one purpose: to get married and have children. And by age 16, I can tell you that that did not appear at all appealing to me. After years of helping to take care of three younger siblings (whom I love, don’t get me wrong), and watching my mother service every family member’s needs but her own, I knew I wanted something else.

But what?

In the era I was raised, I saw only four options for girls, other than marriage. Become a:

~ Nurse. Health was my worst subject in high school; I fainted whenever a needle pricked my skin. (No lie. My mom took me to the doctor to receive the regular kid vaccinations, rather than get them at school with everyone else. Doc would have me lay down before he even pulled out the equipment.)

~ Teacher. The only attractive thing about this job was the two months off during the summer. School was fun for social reasons. As far as sitting in a classroom all day and listening to content that did not interest me…oh no. Couldn’t imagine ever wanting to stand in the front of a class all day either.

~ Bank teller. Hated math. Still do.

~ Secretary. I had no interest in sitting on my “toosh” all day pounding away at a keyboard for someone.

The future looked kind of dismal. And yet, when I look back now on the choices I turned my back on, what is it I actually do and LOVE?

~ I operate a healthcare practice. (No needles though!)

~ I teach – with passion and engagement.

~ I pound away on a computer for hours at a time – but, at least for myself.

~ Math – well, I still don’t like it. I rely on Quickbooks to do the calculations and a fantastic accountant to keep me out of trouble.

How I made it from dismal options to the fabulous life I lead now is a whole other story you can read here, if you like. ‘Cuz, today I’m here to talk about stinkin’ thinkin’, and specifically how to convert stinkin’ thinkin’ into I CAN thinking.

So, when you think about what it is you really want to do, do these stinkin’ thoughts arise?

I CAN’T…. it’ll be too hard.

I CAN’T…. I’m not smart enough.

I CAN’T…. I don’t have the time.

I CAN’T…. I don’t have the money.

The secret is, we all experience those thoughts at some time. The trick is to train yourself to become aware of your thoughts and notice those ugly, unproductive, sabotaging ones and turn them around – fast. Substitute self-defeating thoughts with this question instead:

HOW CAN I……..?

Live with that question for awhile. Ask yourself every night just as you’re about to fall asleep. One day, sit down and write the question down – using your dominant hand. Then pass the pen to your other hand and wait for the answers to arise. Write them down. You will be surprised.

As the late Wayne Dyer said,

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Playing Detective

sleuthLately, I’ve been asking myself some pointed questions about my expectations and motivations with health history forms. I’m not saying that I don’t think it’s essential to know certain facts; I’m just turning the tables here and donning my detective hat to ask myself some important questions, as I do my clients.

I think of the health history form serving three primary purposes:

  • Identify contraindications that might preclude foot or hand reflexology as a safe treatment option, and health conditions that might dictate a particular focus and/or warrant consideration in my choice of technique.
  • A conversation opener. My client’s responses give us a place from which to begin a dialogue; to establish rapport; for me to find out how she specifically is affected – on all levels – by the situations she faces in her life.
  • Establish what my client’s goals are for her time with me.

With the above in mind, some of the questions that come to my mind are:

  • Am I asking too much on the intake form? Are my questions too personal? I understand how tedious and irritating it might become for someone on an exhaustive search for solutions to have to answer the same ubiquitous questions with every practitioner they visit. When all intake forms start to read the same, it might start to sound inauthentic; kind of like the medical operations that keep telling us that they treat “body, mind and spirit”. Might I discover more about my client’s relationship with herself and her challenges through an honest conversation rather than a long checklist?
  • In our attempt to gain credibility in the broad field of healthcare, are we “medicalising” complementary therapies? I’m offering reflexology – a modality with very few contraindications – not a medical procedure. Should a complementary therapist’s practices be identical to that of a medic? Are complementary consultations the same as medical consultations?

How would you answer the above questions?

And these:

  • How much time do you spend on an initial consultation? How many pages is your intake form?
  • Do you think you get all the information you need on your health history form? (How many times has a client aroused herself from “la-la land” to inform you that that tender spot on her foot is from a recently recovered broken bone she forgot to tell you about?)
  • What are “deal breakers” for you? Situations where you will not provide a hands-on session?
  • How do you respond to a client who refuses to complete a health intake form? Do you attempt to discover why? Gather the basic information you need verbally so as to do no harm and hopefully meet your client’s goals? What do you say to get across your need for certain pieces of information? Do you refuse to give service? If so, why?

Whew! So that’s what’s been racing around in my head the last few days. Please share your thoughts and practices regarding the above; your input helps us all.

 

 

Crisis and Choice

You never know what you will find when you start cleaning out old files! I came across an editorial I wrote in 1997 for the then print-version of the Florida School of Massage’s Connective Issue magazine. I share it now along with a couple of questions for you to contemplate! I am happy to say that this still sums up my beliefs.

“I love the synchronicity of life. I love how, when I’m paying attention, I become so aware of the bountiful support life constantly offers me.

Last week, I came across a greeting card with a quotation credited to Anaïs Nin, the French novelist. The card read: We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are. Ah…I liked that! Nin’s belief seemed to echo one of mine: Events are neither good nor bad, right or wrong; they just are. We interpret them to mean something based on our beliefs, on who we are.

Little did I know that the message in that greeting card would soon serve to guide me through a challenging time.

Two days ago, I found myself enmeshed in a complicated situation that involved a number of people for whom I care a lot. Many people felt incredibly angry towards certain individuals. Certain people asked for my forgiveness, while other expressed disappointment and surprise regarding my part in the play. Others’ fears were so strong that they felt directed to advise me to seek legal counsel. One thing was certain – there were obviously many ways to see the situation!

As I witnessed all this around me, as well as my own fluctuating emotions, I decided that I wanted to consciously choose my response, rather than react. And that involved a “heart-to-heart” with myself.

Anger? Found no anger, or hate, or resentment towards anyone involved in the drama we had created. Mostly, I felt compassion and curiosity.

Forgiveness? I held no judgment whatsoever towards any of the individuals involved in this story, including myself. Therefore, there was nothing or no one to forgive. Acceptance seemed a better word to describe my position.

And so I was left with the suggestion of fear. I noticed that if I allowed thoughts of worse case scenarios to occupy my head, I was easily overcome with disastrous thoughts. Since I really had no idea of the ultimate resolution of this situation I asked myself, what did I want to see happen? And why would I choose to entertain any image in my head other than what I desired?

I decided therefore to hold a particular vision for myself and the others involved – a positive one.

Immediately, a realization came to me: CRISIS DOESN’T CHANGE WHO I AM – IT SIMPLY SHOWS ME WHO I AM. Yes! If I am a loving, trusting human being, then that is how I will see/relate to myself, the events and people in my life – no matter what the circumstances. The choice is always mine, and all mine.

As I looked back on the tumultuous days just past, I had to smile. I learned a lot – about loyalty and lies and love; how ethical situations demand scrupulous introspection and a thorough examination of the “big-picture” consequences.

Even as I stumble towards perfection, I like who I am. I like who I am becoming. More and more, self-acceptance comes naturally and easily, and within that loving acceptance comes painless change and growth. I am so grateful for the many opportunities I am given from which I can create and express my emerging self.”

What about you? What are your thoughts on this topic? Do you greet each day looking only for what you want to see, or wake up expecting to see what you don’t want in your life?